The Avatar of Light
by Yarrow
Summary: In every age, a strong and noble girl is selected to receive magical powers and fight the forces of darkness. The most recent choice goes by the name of Ranma.
1. I'm a Guy!

**I'm a guy!**

Ranma floated in darkness. He had no idea where he was or how he'd gotten there, but for some reason he didn't seem to care. He felt relaxed and at peace. It was a nice feeling, one he felt far too rarely. After a time, he realized he was no longer alone. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he was sure someone else was with him. After a few seconds (or a few hours—time didn't seem to really exist here), a woman's voice surrounded him, proving him right.

"Ranma, you have a very special destiny. You have been chosen to be a champion of the light; your bright soul and fighting spirit make you the perfect paladin of justice, guardian of goodness, and valkyrie of virtue!"

Ranma felt warm inside as he listened to the voice. He'd always delighted in protecting the weak (well, the ones who weren't jerks—he'd protect the jerks, too, but he always kind of hated himself when he did), and now it sounded like he'd been chosen to be some kind of superhero. Paladin, guardian, ... valkyrie? The warmth fizzled out.

"What do you mean, 'valkyrie'?" he demanded. "Isn't that a woman warrior?"

The voice paused, as if in confusion, before answering, "Well, yes. And so shall you be."

"Unh-uh! No way. Forget it."

"You ... refuse?" The voice was definitely confused now.

"That's right. Find someone else to do it."

The voice sighed and reluctantly said, "Very well... I will find someone else, even though you are the best choice. So long as you do not utter the transformation phrase until then, you will manage to hide from your destiny."

"Hey! I ain't hid—" He took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. It seemed easier than usual to do that in this dark place. "Fine. Whatever. So, what's this phrase I have to avoid?"

"It is** Ranma! Wake up!**" shouted the voice as it became Akane's after the first two words. And as cold water shocked his body, he did.

oOo

"Oh, stop being such a baby, Ranma. You knew you had to get up early today. It was_ your_ idea to get to school early so you could look over your notes right before the test. Never mind_ my_ suggestion to just study hard..."

Ranma scowled as he trailed behind Akane and Nabiki on the way to school. He was still feeling a bit freaked out about the dream he'd had. On the unlikely chance it was real, he'd missed a_ really_ important bit of information; if it was just a normal dream, the fact that he'd come up with something like that to begin with was almost as disturbing.

"I changed my mind," he grumbled.

"Like I'm supposed to know that! I was just trying to help."

"I didn't ask for your help! Can't you just mind your own business for once?"

"Fine! From now on, you're on your own, jerk!" shouted Akane as she angrily kicked a nearby fencepost, sending vibrations down the fence and causing it to shower both her and Ranma with droplets from the rain that had fallen earlier that morning.

"What'd you do that for?!" demanded the now wet and female Ranma. "Now I gotta stop and get hot water!"

"Now, now, ladies," chided Nabiki with a smirk, "if you want to get to school early, there's no time for hot water_ or_ screeching at each other in the street."

While Akane blushed at her older sister's words, Ranma sputtered, "_Ladies_?! I'm a guy!"

And suddenly soft music filled the air as a pink aura surrounded Ranma and seemed to gently lift her off the street. A flurry of pink and lavender ribbons danced around her as she spun in place for a moment before melding together to form a short and highly nonstandard seifuku featuring large quantities of pink, lavender, and white. There were also elbow length gloves, thigh high lace-up boots with high heels, numerous bows, and various pieces of gold jewelry—including an ornate tiara set with a pink stone resting atop her now lavender hair that reached halfway down her back in a French braid held closed with a coil of gold. The music stopped as Ranma lightly touched down on the street, lavender eyes wide and staring.

As Akane stood there gaping, a hand self-consciously going to her own hair, Nabiki just looked the rather shell-shocked Ranma up and down and said dryly, "I stand corrected."

A long moment passed before Ranma shook off her shock and shouted, "What the hell kind of transformation phrase is that?!"

"Actually, it's high elvish for_ imbue me with power_," said the voice Ranma had heard in his dreams just the night before. She looked around and quickly spotted a small lavender fox with very large ears walking out from between two bushes.

"_I'm a guy_?" asked Nabiki.

"Not exactly, but close enough," said the fox as she walked over to Ranma, and with a powerful leap, jumped onto her shoulder. "I must say, I'm glad you changed your mind and decided to accept the mantle of champion. The forces of evil will tremble in fear!"

"I didn't change nothing!" cried Ranma. "Go find someone else—I ain't doing it!"

The fox grabbed the bow on the front of Ranma's outfit and thrust her face into the girl's face. Somehow, the fox seemed to have grown to enormous size, her sharp, pointed teeth flashing less than an inch from Ranma as she snarled, "**Well, you shouldn't have said the transformation phrase, then! Now I**_** can't**_** get anyone else, so you**_** have**_** to do it!**"

Ranma gave a shriek and fell over backwards, dazedly wondering if this fox was somehow related to Akane's father. The fox, normal size again, landed lightly before her and brushed herself off with a paw. "Actually, you don't_ have_ to carry out your duty if you feel so strongly about it. Of course, the forces of darkness undoubtedly sensed your transformation and will be coming to destroy you and then everyone around you, but hey, it's your choice."

Ranma picked herself up and glanced at Akane and Nabiki before giving the fox a dark look and saying, "That's not much of a choice."

Nabiki smirked and said, "That's a good magical girl."

"For the last time, I'm a gu—" Ranma started to shout before the fox cut her off.

"Hey! There's no need for your super form right now!" While Ranma groaned and buried her face in her hands, the fox added, "Anyway, we shouldn't be standing here in the middle of the street like this. You need to either power down or go someplace less public."

"Right," said Nabiki, "you don't want to give people a free show."

"I don't want to give people_ any_ kind of show!" cried Ranma. Turning to the fox, she asked, "How do I go back to normal?"

"Back?" asked Akane skeptically.

"Just picture your normal form and will yourself to change back to it."

"Ok," said Ranma as she closed her eyes and concentrated. After a few moments, she opened them again, and looking down at herself exclaimed, "It's not working!"

Akane looked thoughtful and asked, "Are you picturing yourself as a girl? You were in your cursed form when you, um..."

"Turned into a magical girl," Nabiki finished helpfully.

After sparing a moment to shoot Nabiki a dark look, Ranma sighed and closed her eyes again. A few seconds later, her form wavered and became her usual female self. When she opened her eyes, she looked down at herself and sighed in relief.

"So, what's this about a curse?" asked the fox.

"Well, my old man and I—"

"Ranma," interrupted Akane, "if we don't go to school now, we're going to be late for the test."

"Who cares about a test after_ this_!?"

"Go take your test," said the fox. "_This_ will still be around after school."

"Like I'll be able to concentrate on math..."

"So go fail your test. I'll talk to you when you get out of school.

* * *

Author's note: After several years of being an op of the official Fukufics IRC channel, I decided it's long overdue that I actually _wrote_ one. This is intended to be a fairly lighthearted story that will mostly consist of 'episodes' where new opponents and situations arise and are dealt with, rather than huge dramatic arcs. Then again, stories _have_ been known to veer in unexpected directions...

Thanks go to the patron deity of fukufics, Sunshine Temple, for feedback and suggestions.


	2. Names and Titles

**Names and Titles**

"Look, will you give it a rest, already? It's not my fault you messed up on your test!" exclaimed Ranma as he walked down the sidewalk just fast enough to stay out of reach of a fuming Akane.

"Yes, it is!" she growled, taking another swipe at him with her book bag. "I was so distracted by you turning into a magical girl this morning that I couldn't concentrate!"

"Really, Akane, it's not like he turned into a _magical girl _on purpose so you'd do badly on your test," offered Nabiki as she trailed behind them. "Besides, I'm sure he did even worse than you did."

"Will you stop saying that! Anyway, I think I did pretty well. I was trying so hard _not_ to think about what happened that I actually managed to focus on the test," Ranma said, casually picking up his pace slightly as a soft growl behind him prefaced a renewed flurry of book bag swings. "Now, could we please just forget about the whole mag—"

"Ah, here you are," said the lavender fox from that morning as she scrambled up a nearby fencepost and onto Ranma's shoulder. "Why are you male?"

Sighing as any hope for a topic change vanished, Ranma answered, "It's the curse I was telling you about."

"You turn into a boy? You poor thing! We'll have to find you a cure right away!"

"What? No! I turn into a girl. Whenever I'm hit with cold water. Hot water turns me back."

"Oh, that's ok, then."

"Wait, what do you mean, 'that's ok'?!" shouted Ranma. "What happened to rushing out and finding a cure?!"

"Well, turning into a girl is hardly a curse, is it?" reasoned the fox. "Don't worry, we can find something to fix your problem with hot water when we have time."

"What part of this are you not understanding?" Ranma asked the small lavender fox riding on his shoulder. "I turn into a girl because of a _curse_. I am a _guy_." He paused for a moment to nervously make sure he wasn't about to get another magical makeover before continuing. "I _like _being a guy."

"I ... see," said the fox. A long pause followed before she continued, "But, _if_ you're just saying that because you're embarrassed that your sex change ritual only partially worked, you really shouldn't be."

"Damnit! Why won't you believe me? I don't want to be a girl," sighed Ranma.

"It's true," added Nabiki helpfully. "He hardly ever splashes himself with cold water and dresses up as a bunnygirl or goes out and tries to act really cute in front of guys."

"Stop. Helping."

"Fine," said Nabiki, holding her hands up. "See if I try to do another good deed anytime soon."

"_That _was a good deed?!"

"Look," said Akane, "we can talk about Ranma's love for his manhood later—"

"Hey! don't say it like that!" shouted Ranma.

"Wha—? Oh!" Akane ducked her head, blushing furiously, after mentally replaying her words.

"Look_, _can we just change the subject for now?" pleaded Ranma. "What's your name, anyway, fox?"

"Velgri. And yours?"

"Oh, right! Saotome Ranma."

"Tendou Nabiki."

"Tendou Akane."

"A pleasure. Now, Ranma, I will be staying with you to provide guidance and instruction in the powers and duties of your new office."

"Great..." sighed Ranma. "How long does this job last?"

"I'm not really sure, to be honest," admitted Velgri, "no one's survived the entire length of the term."

"How long did the longest last?" asked Nabiki.

"Five years."

"You mean this lasts at least five years?!" demanded Ranma.

"_That's_ what you're worried about?" cried Akane. "Everyone who's done this has died within five years of starting!"

"Feh. I can handle it," said Ranma with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"You don't even know anything about it yet!"

Ranma just shrugged, then quickly moved to the side as Akane stormed past him with a growl and stomped the rest of the way home. "Sheesh. What's with her?" he asked, but no one answered, and the rest of the walk passed in silence.

oOo

Ranma sat down in the living room with a sigh and leaned back, closing his eyes. A moment later, he opened them again as Nabiki sat down nearby. "What are you doing?" he asked. "Isn't this the time of day when you vanish somewhere and avoid the rest of us until dinner?"

"And miss your magical girl thing? Please."

Ranma sighed again and shook his head. "This day just keeps getting better and better."

"Good afternoon, Ranma, Nabiki," said Kasumi walking into the room, "would you like a snack—ooh, what an adorable little fennec! Is she yours, Ranma?"

"Fennec? I thought she was a fox."

"A fennec is a type of fox, and actually, I'm her companion and advisor," said Velgri, ignoring Ranma's muttered '_his_'. "My name is Velgri."

"Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Kasumi. Would you like anything to eat or drink?"

"Yes, thank you. A saucer of fairy wine and a dish of _millas_ would be delightful."

"Aah... I'm afraid we don't have either of those. Why don't I bring out an assortment of things so you can see what you like."

"That would be fine," Velgri graciously allowed. Once Kasumi had gone back to the kitchen, the fox turned to Ranma. "While we wait, we should discuss your new role."

"Absolutely," agreed Nabiki, "and the first and most important thing is to decide on your magical girl name."

"That's not what I—"

"Feh. You only need a name if you're going to talk with anyone, and that ain't gonna happen."

"Actually—"

"That's fine," said Nabiki airily, "the press will just come up with something based on your appearance. Mmm, considering your overall look and color scheme, they'll probably go with something like Princess Pink."

Ranma gave a small shudder and sighed, "Fine. What do you got?"

"1,000 yen less than I want."

"Yeah, yeah..." said Ranma, making a 'get on with it' motion with his hand.

"Well, it really depends on what sort of image you want. Tell me if any of these grab you: Pretty in Pink, The Pink Tornado, Violence Girl, Sailor—"

"No," interrupted Ranma flatly.

"No Sailors. Got it. Collateral Damage, Pretty Angry, Bonebreaker, Guardian Girl, Justice Lass, the Lavender Menace—"

"She is not a menace!" roared Velgri. "And you two knuckleheads will stop this nonsense right now or I will bite you both!" Calming down, she added in a civil tone, "She is the Avatar of Light."

"That will be 1,000 yen," said Nabiki, holding out a hand.

"For what?!" demanded Ranma.

"Services were rendered and a name was chosen. If you didn't actually need a new name, you should have determined that before hiring me."

"Fine..." muttered Ranma, before brightening at the sight of Kasumi coming out of the kitchen bearing a large tray laden with a wide assortment of foods. "All right!" he happily exclaimed, reaching for a dish as soon as the tray was set on the table—only to get smacked on the back of his hand with a serving spoon.

"Those are for Velgri," said Kasumi with a cool expression on her face.

"Aw, c'mon, it's not like she can eat all..." Ranma trailed off and swallowed nervously as Kasumi's eyes narrowed slightly. "I'll ... just grab a bag of chips from the kitchen—if that's ok?"

"Of course, Ranma!" Kasumi replied cheerfully with a bright smile.

Ranma quickly got up and went into the kitchen, quietly muttering, "Creeeepy..." to himself once he was out of the room. Sticking his head in the pantry, he rummaged around for several moments before emerging and finding himself face to face with Kasumi.

"Ranma," she asked curiously, her face inches from his, "are you a magical girl?"

"Wh-what do you mean?" Ranma asked, starting to back into the pantry.

"Well," Kasumi considered thoughtfully, "you have a cute talking animal advisor, and it sounded like you were discussing ideas for names..."

"There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for that!" cried Ranma, looking around nervously. "You see, I—I mean, Nabiki and I—we're planning a ... er ... thing where we..." He trailed off with a sigh and sagged. "Yes, Kasumi, I'm a magical girl."

Kasumi smiled brightly as she stepped back so Ranma could move out of the pantry. "Good. It'll be healthy for you to take up a new hobby."

"Riiight... A hobby."

"You should involve Akane. She always wanted to be a magical girl, you know."

"She did?"

"Oh, yes. Ever since she was a little girl. Eventually, she decided it was unrealistic and decided being a martial artist would be almost as good."

"She never said anything about that..."

"Really? She used to talk about it all the time when she was younger. I'm sure she'd still love to help you out with your new hobby." Kasumi tilted her head to the side and added thoughtfully, "Even if her childhood dream ended up coming true for a boy instead of herself."

"Riiiight..." replied Ranma as he started to walk out of the kitchen with the bag of chips.

"Ranma, I know Akane gets angry easily, but it's only because she cares so much about things ... and the people who mean something to her."

Ranma paused for a second and said quietly, "All right, I'll talk to her," before changing direction and going out the back door. Jumping up to the roof, he walked over to Akane's room, dangled upside down by his feet outside the window, and knocked on the glass.

After a moment, a scowling Akane slid the window open and asked, "Why can't you use the door like a normal person?"

Ignoring the question, Ranma said, "Look, I've been thinking about this whole ... magical girl thing and thought maybe you should be involved. If you want."

Akane stared at Ranma for a second before a brilliant smile lit up her face. She couldn't believe it! Ranma—_Ranma—_was actually asking her for help! And about something she _knew_! Ok, maybe she wasn't going to get to be a magical girl, but with all her years of fascination with the subject, she was definitely _the_ expert on the subject. With her as his manager, researcher, and controller, Ranma would be the best magical girl **ever**! And survive longer than five years.

"Oh, Ranma! Of _course_ I want to be involved!"

"Great! So, I was thinking you could be my sidekick."

Akane's smile vanished. "Sidekick," she echoed flatly.

"Yeah!" said Ranma enthusiastically, "We'll get a costume and name for you, and you can mop up the minions and things while I take care of the bad guys."

"I'll give you a sidekick!" roared Akane.

oOo

Downstairs, Velgri looked up from the dish she was sampling as her ears twitched. "Did something just fall into the pond?"

Popping a filched piece of pickled garlic into her mouth, Nabiki carelessly replied, "Don't worry about it. After a few days, you won't even notice it anymore."

* * *

Author's note: And here's chapter two, which is longer than chapter one but shorter than chapter three. Let's hope this trend continues (within reason). If anyone can figure out the meaning of Velgri's name before it's revealed in the note at the end of chapter three, they'll get a minor prize of some sort. Such as their name being mentioned in a chapter or author's note (and you don't get much more minor than that...).

Anyway, thanks for reading, and reviews are always appreciated.


	3. Lesson Plans

**Lesson Plans**

"So, what did you think?" Soun asked his friend as they walked into the living room and sat down on the far side of the shougi board.

"The quality was definitely good," admitted Genma, "but it's an awful lot to spend on mats. We should shop around some more."

Soun nodded and set up the board as Genma took his seat across from him. "The ones we have will last for now."

They played for a while in silence before Genma gasped and cried, "Look at the size of that spider!" Soun quickly whirled around but saw nothing. When he turned back, he frowned at the game pieces and their new configuration. "My mistake," said Genma, "it was only a leaf."

Soun just made a noncommittal sound and played on for several minutes before looking past his opponent and saying in a puzzled voice, "There's a purple fox behind you."

Genma chuckled and shook his head. "You'll have to do better than that, my fri—" He stopped and stared down at the small animal that was now peeking at the game board near his elbow. "I believe it's actually lavender, Tendou." Quickly looking back at the board before his opponent could take advantage of his distraction, Genma took a moment to consider his options and reached for a piece.

"Tch."

Genma stopped and looked down at the fox with a frown. Looking back at the board, he realized that the move he'd been about to make wasn't really a good one. As he reached for a different piece, a soft snort came from the direction of the fox.

Genma scowled at the fox and said, "If you think you can do so much better, let's see _your_ move!"

With a mild sense of amazement, Genma watched as the fox picked up one of his captured pieces in its mouth, turned it around, and placed it on the board. Soun's eyes bulged slightly and he made a brief strangled noise before calmly asking, "Another game, Saotome?"

oOo

"Dinner!" called Kasumi as she set the table.

As if summoned by magic, Ranma, once again in his cursed form, appeared at the entrance from the back yard. Pausing only briefly to direct a curious glance at the two fathers hunched at one side of the shougi board, alternately studying the game and looking up to glare at the lavender fox sitting across from them, she seated herself at the dinner table to wait.

While Kasumi finished bringing out the food, first Akane and then Nabiki joined Rama at the table, the former glaring at him and the latter simply watching them both and smirking. A few moments later, Soun and Genma groaned and walked over to the dinner table, heads bowed.

"I hear there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe at a casino downtown, if you two need to start small and work your way up," Nabiki helpfully offered.

"Be nice, Nabiki," chided Kasumi as she set a dish of barbecued beef in front of Velgri. "I hope you enjoy this, Velgri."

"Thank you," replied the lavender fox, "it smells delicious."

"She can talk!" exclaimed Soun and Genma in shock.

"Ah yes, there's the brilliance I've come to expect from those two." Velgri remarked drily.

There was an awkward pause before Genma asked, "Why is she here?"

"She's Ranma's new advisor and trainer," Nabiki answered.

"What!? That's my job!"

"It looks like I'll have my work cut out for me," sighed Velgri. "Don't worry, I will be her mentor only in specific areas; you can continue educating her in ... whatever it is you do."

"I'll have you know I am an expert martial artist," proclaimed Genma.

"Good. That's something that could actually be useful. Carry on."

"The martial arts is not some _side project _that can be studied in one's spare time! It's a way of life—a defining philosophy that should be a practitioner's primary concern!"

"Very well. Ranma may focus on the martial arts and be devoured by demons along with her friends and family."

"Of course, there are exceptions," Genma quickly allowed.

"Way to stand up for your principles, old man," drawled Ranma.

Silence reigned for a time as everyone remembered the food sitting before them and focused on giving the attention it was due. Eventually, when the plates were mostly empty, Soun cleared his throat and asked, "What is it, exactly, that you will be training Ranma in, Velgri?"

"I will be instructing and advising her in her new role as the Avatar of Light, a powerful champion who stands against the forces of evil and darkness," proclaimed Velgri.

"And is a magical girl," added Nabiki helpfully.

"Stop. Helping." growled Ranma.

"Boy! What do you think—"

"—or be devoured by demons," repeated Velgri.

After a moment of silence, Soun asked, "Surely someone who is truly a girl could have been chosen? Why, I expect Akane or Na...aaeighbors galore would be fine choices." Soun abruptly ducked his head and began sweating profusely as he tried to ignore his middle daughter's intense glare.

"If they were better choices, I would have been drawn to them instead."

Looking like she wasn't sure whether to be insulted or hurt, Akane asked, "Why wasn't I chosen?"

"I would have to probe you mind and spirit to be sure," replied Velgri, "But from what I've seen so far, your fighting skills are inferior to Ranma's, and you direct violence toward others when you are angry."

Akane abruptly turned red and stammered, "T-that wasn't serious. Ranma would have barely felt it if I'd hit him with my book bag."

While Ranma gave Akane an incredulous look, Nabiki quickly sprang to her sister's defense. "It's true. That would have been nothing compared to the time she kicked him at someone trying to kill him with a wooden sword or any number of times she's thrown him out the window."

"Stop. Helping." growled Akane.

"Yes, well regardless, it is important that I train Ranma as soon as possible in her new powers. We will leave tomorrow to an appropriate remote location."

"Excellent," said Genma, rubbing his hands together, "it's always a pleasure to see new techniques."

"I'm afraid this trip will be for Ranma and myself only."

"Surely, I should come along to help the boy integrate the new techniques into his style."

"Perhaps another time, Saotome," replied Velgri. "This first session will contain information that may only be passed on to the Avatar herself. We will try to return as soon as we are able. We leave tomorrow morning."

Genma grunted, more than familiar with the concept of secret techniques.

oOo

"I wonder what Ranma is learning," Kasumi remarked shortly after dinner was served the next night.

"Probably energy attacks and special magical techniques," stated Akane authoritatively as she picked up her tea.

"Oh, my. Do you think they'll be back soon?"

Akane shook her head. "No, it's going to be some time before—"

"We're back!" called Ranma's voice from the entrance hall.

"Doesn't that hurt?" Nabiki asked Akane, eying the broken cup in her sister's tea-drenched hand.

"No, I'm fine," replied Akane in a wooden voice. "Excuse me, please." With that, she stood up and stiffly walked into the kitchen. A moment later, the sound of running water was heard.

"Oh, great! We didn't miss dinner," said Ranma as she walked into the dining room.

"Welcome home!" exclaimed Kasumi, deftly plucking the fox from Ranma's shoulder and stroking her soft fur before gently placing her at an empty spot on the table and quickly filling a plate with the choicest parts of each dish. After seeing one especially fine piece of meat get snatched right off of Soun's plate, Nabiki quickly moved her own dinner out of reach.

"I'll … just help myself," said Ranma as she sat down and filled a plate, being careful not to directly challenge Kasumi for any morsels of food.

"So, Ranma, learn anything interesting?" Nabiki asked.

"Yeah," said Ranma with a frown, "never let a fox make the travel arrangements."

"Why? What happened?"

"She wanted me to eat _snails_!"

"I merely suggested ordering the escargot à l'Alsacienne, you philistine—the bistro was famous for it!" cried the fox in question.

"I don't doubt word got around about them serving snails to unsuspecting people!" retorted Ranma.

"I've never been so embarrassed in a restaurant in my life! And that was even before your revolting attempt at a wine selection!"

"Oh, do you like French cuisine, Velgri?" asked Kasumi, presenting the plate to her. "I have some recipes I've been wanting to try."

"Wait, bistro? Wine selection?" asked Nabiki. "Just what kind of training trip was this?"

"A civilized one," sniffed Velgri. "Or, at least, it was intended to be. And I'd be delighted to sample your efforts, Kasumi; you have so far proven to be an excellent chef."

As Ranma peered at Kasumi, surprised to see a faint blush blooming on the older girl's cheeks, Genma's voice rang out, "Restaurants and wine? Are you going soft on me, boy?! That's no way for a real martial artist to train!"

"But wholly appropriate for the Avatar of Light, which is whom I was training," interrupted Velgri. "While it may be appropriate for a _real martial artist_ to look like a wandering vagrant and have matching manners, the Avatar is expected to have higher standards—and by the time I am through with her, she _will_ have them!" she concluded with a stern look at Ranma.

Ranma sighed and shook her head, wondering how eating snails had somehow become a sign of having 'higher standards'. "Look, I'm willing to go along with this whole Avatar thing and fight demons and whatever because it needs to be done and you can't get anyone else, but that's _it_. I'm not going to waste time learning manners that don't mean anything, learning about wine, or acting like I want to eat snails, so you can just forget it."

"You took on the mantle of the Avatar of Light," growled Velgri, "and even if it was not fully intentional, you are obligated to meet the responsibilities of that position—and one of those responsibilities is to conduct yourself in a befitting manner! It may not be your _primary_ responsibility, and I have no intention of forcing you to be presentable at all times—gods know _that_ would be too much to ask—but I _will_ insist you be able to interact in a formal setting without embarrassing yourself and everyone around you!"

Ranma opened her mouth to argue, when Kasumi added, "And I'm sure it would make your mother so happy."

Ranma closed her mouth with a snap and looked down for a moment before sighing, "Fine."

"Stop sulking, Saotome, it really is useful to know," added Nabiki. Turning to Velgri, she added, "I'd be more than happy to help with this. I can take Ranma to fine restaurants and formal social events as practical exercises—completely for free, of course, though I would need to have expenses covered."

"And we could have formal dinners here once a week," Kasumi enthused.

Velgri nodded approvingly. "Yes, that would be most useful. Thank you for your help in Ranma's training, Kasumi, Nabiki."

Walking in through the kitchen doorway, Akane stopped, silently turned around, and walked back the way she'd come with a stony expression on her face.

oOo

Placing her toothbrush back in its holder, Akane sighed softly, and started back to her bedroom for the night. In the hallway, she paused, seeing the cause of her current melancholy approaching. "Velgri," she acknowledged, with a nod of her head.

"Good evening, Akane," replied the fox.

Akane started walking again but stopped and hesitantly asked, "Why haven't you asked _me_ for help with Ranma? I'm the one who knows all about magical girls."

Velgri cocked her head. "Oh? I didn't realize. How did you acquire this knowledge? Being an associate of magical girls? Helping to train them? Working with them?"

Flushing, Akane stammered, "Well, not exactly. It's mostly from, um, readings and watching programs about them..."

"I see. So, in short, you believe you have expert knowledge about magical girls because you've watched a lot of cartoons and read many comics. Thank you for your offer, but I do not believe such … experience will be overly useful." Velgri shook her head. "It is possible you may have something valuable to offer—your sisters do—but you will assuredly not discover it by offering expertise you do not, in fact, have. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am retiring for the evening. Good night, Akane."

Velgri walked away and slipped through a slightly opened door, somehow closing it behind her. Akane just stood there silently, so consumed by humiliation and embarrassment that it took her several moments to realize the room Velgri had slipped into was Kasumi's.

oOo

"Akane, are you in here?" called Nabiki as she stuck her head into the dojo. "Kasumi wants to know if you can go to the market and pick up something she needs to make lunch." Frowning slightly as she noticed her younger sister sitting, head bowed, by an unbroken stack of cinder blocks, she asked, "What's wrong?"

Not looking up from the floor, Akane miserably said, "I did something really stupid..."

Nabiki walked over and sat down next to her. "Go on."

"Do you know where Velgri spends her nights?"

"I hadn't really thought about it. With Ranma?"

Akane shook her head. "With Kasumi."

Nabiki groaned. "Oh, Akane, please tell me you didn't..."

"I didn't!" cried Akane. "I mean, I never even considered a fox would … you know. But when I woke up this morning, I remembered that a lot of animal advisors for magical girls also have human forms..." As Nabiki groaned again, Akane finally looked up to glare at her. "Come on! It's not like I stormed up to her and demand to know if she was molesting my sister!"

"Okay," said Nabiki sweetly, "then what _did_ you do that was really stupid?"

Akane flushed and looked away before saying quietly, "I asked her if she could turn into a human. And, well... I guess she knew what I was really asking, because she got really offended ... and said no."

Nabiki sighed and shook her head. "Oh, Akane..."

"No, I can fix this!" protested Akane. "I'll apologize, make it up to her, and _prove_ that I'd be invaluable in training Ranma!"

"Really? How are you going to do that?"

Akane sagged and moaned, "I have no idea."

* * *

Author's note: When I was trying to think of an appropriate name for Ranma's advisor, I remembered an interesting bit of trivia: 'The word Velcro is a portmanteau of the two French words velours ("velvet"), and crochet ("hook").' [Wikipedia] For Velgri's name, I decided velours ("velvet") worked nicely for the first half but changed the second to griffes ("claws"), which seemed rather appropriate for a fox who's polite and refined—until you piss her off.

As always, reviews are appreciated. They don't make me write faster per se, but whenever I get one, it reminds me that there are people out there waiting for the next chapter and I really should get working on it.


	4. The First Challenge!

**The First Challenge!**

Akane frowned in concentration as she crosschecked two maps and several pages of notes that were spread over the living room table. It had been a cruel blow to learn that her magical girl 'expertise' wasn't valuable, but she was determined to prove her worth, and when she was walking to the market for Kasumi, the perfect idea had come to her. As a result, the rest of the morning and all afternoon had been spent consulting maps, measuring, making charts, and using her intimate knowledge of the surrounding area to create the perfect patrol route and schedule—with room for adjustments, of course, depending on the exact patrol requirements of the Avatar of Light.

She was just putting the finishing touches on the night version when a knock on the back door roused her from her task. "I'll get it!" she called as she walked through the kitchen and opened the door, then stopped and stared. Standing before her was a little girl who looked around nine or ten, and while her short black hair and pretty dress seemed normal enough, there were a few notable features that didn't seem quite right. In fact, Akane was quite sure that the girl's dark red skin, long black fingernails, crimson eyes, black horns curving out and up from the sides of her head, and spade-tipped red tail dangling out the back of the her dress were most definitely _not_ standard issue.

The little girl beamed at Akane and brightly chirped, "Hi! I'm Lolidemonica! I'm here to kill the Avatar of Light!"

Akane paled, her mouth opening and closing a few times before she stammered, "I-I'm sorry, I've never heard of them. You must have the wrong address," before slowly but firmly closing the door and leaning against it. How could this happen, she wondered in a panic. It hadn't even been two days since Ranma became the Avatar and demons had already pierced her secret identity and tracked her to her home! Could things be any worse?! Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm herself and figure out what to do.

Outside, the girl gazed at the door with hooded eyes as her smile abruptly fled, leaving her face an emotionless mask. Without shifting her gaze, she took a step back, slowly raised her left hand, and snapped her fingers, producing a small spray of sparks which immediately erupted into a ball of flame resting in her palm. With a flick of her wrist, she sent the fireball streaking toward the house, where it struck the closed door and instantly burned it to ash in a blast of heat to expose a smoking and soot covered Akane, the steaming doorknob still clutched in her hand.

The little girl beamed at Akane and brightly chirped, "Hi! I'm Lolidemonica! I'm here to kill the Avatar of Light!"

Swaying on her feet, Akane dazedly replied, "I'll... I'll go get her," before staggering back into the house.

Outside, the girl whistled a cheery tune and briefly glanced at her left hand, which was now sporting a small jet of flame on each fingertip. Glancing around the yard, she spied a squirrel digging in the grass and eyed it speculatively for a moment before slowly smiling. Before she could do more than pull her hand back, however, a girl in pink and lavender walked out of the smoking doorway. With a soft sigh, she waved her hand back and forth a few times, extinguishing the flames, and turned to the new girl with a bright smile on her face.

"Hi, Avatar of Light! I'm here to kill you!" she exclaimed cheerfully, before pulling a small silver case out of her breast pocket and extracting a burgundy metal card. Grasping the card by a corner and holding it parallel to the ground above the case, she looked at Ranma expectantly and waited.

"Um..." replied Ranma with a nervous smile as she rubbed the back of her neck.

Lolidemonica held her position for a moment before giving the other girl a scowl. "You don't have a card, do you," she accused.

"Ah, well, you see... I wasn't really expecting anyone this soon and—"

"Forget it!" snarled the unamused demon girl as she put her card away. "I'll come back this time tomorrow—and you'd better be ready!"

"Actually, could you make it an hour later? I won't be home until—"

The smaller girl just turned and walked away, tossing a rude gesture over her shoulder.

oOo

"Please hold still, Akane," Kasumi scolded as she gently cleaned her sister's arm with a damp cloth.

"But Ranma's out there fighting a demon! We've got to help him!"

"Certainly not!" snapped Velgri from her place on the window sill. "You are quite fortunate your recent interference did not have much worse consequences."

"But we can't just sit here and do nothing!" exclaimed Akane.

"I've got my camera!" cried Nabiki as she ran through the room and to the back door.

"I meant do something productive!"

"Akane, you are not the Avatar, and it is not your place to face these enemies of the light," said Velgri sternly as she jumped to the table. "In any case, the demon is gone."

"Gone?! What happened? I didn't hear any fighting," blurted Akane. As Ranma, still in Avatar form and looking confused, walked in trailed by an annoyed Nabiki, Akane turned her focus to the newcomers, and without pause asked, "Did she get away? Is she coming back with reinforcements? Do we have to leave?"

Ranma nervously chuckled and played with her braid. "Er, she won't fight me until I have a card... She's coming back tomorrow."

"Oh, how very proper of her," remarked Kasumi with an approving nod.

Akane stared at Ranma in shock before shouting, "What?! She barged into our home to kill you and nearly blew me up, but because you didn't have a card, she just turned around and _left_?! That's insane!"

"I was under the impression she knocked rather than barged in," remarked Velgri.

"Well... yeah," admitted Akane, "but she said she was here to kill the Avatar of Light! When I said she had the wrong place, she blasted the door."

While Velgri made a disapproving noise and shook her head, Kasumi gently chided, "But she did have the right place, Akane. It really isn't nice to play jokes like that on visitors."

"She was here to kill Ranma!" Akane shouted.

"She was here to challenge the Avatar of Light," corrected Velgri, "but it is true she might have killed you for obstructing her."

"Obstacles are for killing?" asked Nabiki. "Do you think these demons are from China?"

"It is possible some of them are," said Velgri idly, "but we have more important things to discuss right now—Akane, I must insist you stop harassing the forces of evil. They are here to challenge the Avatar, not you."

Nabiki glanced at her younger sister, and noticing her mouth was moving but no sound was coming out, waved her hand in front of Akane's face, eliciting no reaction. "I think you broke her."

"Hang on a second," said Ranma, "so when you told me on the training trip that the forces of evil would challenge me, you meant that they're actually going to come here and literally _challenge_ me?"

"Of course. What did you think I meant?"

"Well, that I'd find them challenging and they'd test my—Nabiki, stop taking pictures of me!" With a scowl, Ranma changed back into her normal girl form. "Ok, so that explains the whole card thing—sort of—but how did she find out I was here?"

"Well the forces of darkness are hardly going to be able to challenge you if they can't find you," replied Velgri, as if it were obvious.

Nabiki glanced at Ranma, who looked confused, and Akane, who looked like her head was about to explode. "I think you're going to need to explain _exactly_ how this Avatar of Light thing works..."

oOo

"It used to be," said Velgri from where she sat on the table, "that among the higher powers, the followers of light and those of darkness would face each other in near constant battle. One side valued nobility, compassion, and virtue, whereas the other reveled in the baser emotions, cruelty, and selfishness—it seemed only right and natural that such opposites should fight each other to the last breath. And they nearly did.

"Before things reached that point, however, wiser heads on each side recognized that their current course would end only in the complete destruction of both sides, and quite possibly all but the simplest of life on Earth. For you see, their battles were so fierce and destructive, they would often poison the land, sea, and air for miles around, killing any creatures present and making the area uninhabitable for ages.

"And so, the leaders of the light and the darkness did the unthinkable—they met under a sigil of truce and they negotiated. I will not bore you with the fine details, but in the end, they agreed to restrictions on the powers they could use and the forces they could field. These restrictions, known as the Accords, worked well, and in the greater stability that resulted, the children of Earth grew and created civilizations and works that impressed and intrigued the higher powers. But the very things that interested the higher powers were most susceptible to disruption by their conflicts, and so, further restrictions were added.

"Over the many years, the Accords were renegotiated several times, each time further limiting how much strength could be used, until eventually, only the weakest of higher beings and Earth creatures infused with the power of light or darkness could be fielded. And it was still not enough. For although the children of Earth could grow and even advance, while the world was in a near-constant state of warfare, they could not thrive. It took the withering and eventual death of the glorious civilization of the elves for the higher powers to finally realize this, and when they did, they met again to place one final restriction.

"In that last meeting, the days of open warfare finally ended. It was decided that losses and gains would be determined by single combat between champions. The forces of light would have a single champion, chosen from the children of Earth and imbued with power. She would be the Avatar of Light. The forces of darkness would be permitted to challenge the Avatar with the least powerful of their number and infused Earth beings. Although the forces of darkness would be able to field a greater number of champions, this would be offset by the restriction that unless the Avatar was defeated, the darkness would be permitted almost no influence on Earth. If a champion did defeat the Avatar, however, darkness would have nearly free rein until another Avatar could be fielded.

"In exchange for the dark champions only attacking through formal challenges separated by a reasonable amount of time, it was agreed that the Avatar's location would always be known to prospective challengers. In addition, it was agreed that while the Avatar would be permitted to battle beings committing dark acts if she encountered them, she would not seek them out."

Velgri looked around at her audience and said, "And that is how this Avatar of Light thing works. Are there any questions?"

Kasumi immediately raised her hand and asked, "Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, please. That would be delightful."

As Kasumi smiled and went to the kitchen, Nabiki asked, "What happens if the Avatar dies outside of a challenge?"

"A good question," Velgri acknowledged. "So long as it is not by her own hand, the forces of light are granted a grace period to find a new champion."

"Why didn't you tell me all of this before?" demanded Ranma.

"I did," said Velgri dryly, "on our trip, but shortly into the explanation, your eyes glazed over and your response to my query at the end of whether that was clear was, I quote, 'Yeah, sure. So, what kind of special moves can I do like this?'."

"Ah..." said Ranma as she rubbed the back of her neck. "I _thought_ parts of it sounded kinda familiar."

After a few moments where everyone present sat silent in thought, Velgri asked, "Does anyone have further questions before we have tea?"

Akane looked up at the fox and slowly asked, "The Avatar basically waits for challengers to come to her and is forbidden to go out looking for trouble?"

"Yes."

"So ... the patrol routes and schedules I spent all day working on are basically useless."

"Yes," confirmed Velgri, before any further discussion was postponed by Kasumi returning with the tea.

oOo

"I hope they managed to get some," worried Ranma as he walked along the top of a chain link fence.

On the sidewalk below, Akane shook her head and grumbled, "Yes, Ranma, we know. The reminder before and after every single class made sure of that. I can't believe you're worried about your stupid cards and not the _fight to the death_!"

Ranma waved a hand dismissively. "Fights aren't a problem, but I don't want to be embarrassed like that again!"

"Relax, will you?" interjected Nabiki from beside her sister. "Basic cards only take minutes to make. It's only the really fancy ones that take more than a few hours. You'll have your cards in time."

"Yeah, well I hope they don't get the really basic ones. I want ones that look good."

Akane scowled and sarcastically said, "Because that's _so_ much more important than..." With an effort, she stopped herself and took a deep breath before asking in a concerned tone, "Ranma, are you _really_ ok with this? You're going to have to either kill someone or be killed yourself..."

Ranma stopped atop the fence for a moment and quietly replied, "Yeah... I am. I'm not thrilled about it, but with so much at stake, I'll do what I need to." With a toss of his head and an arrogant smirk, he added, "And, hey, Saotome Ranma just doesn't lose. Now, come on—let's go home and see those cards!" Smiling slightly and shaking her head, Akane followed Ranma as he broke into a run.

oOo

"We're home!" called Ranma as he ran into the house with Akane and slipped off his shoes. Barely slowing down, he rushed on into the living room, and seeing both Kasumi and Velgri there, eagerly asked, "Did you get them?"

"Of course," replied Velgri as a black stone floated into the air and placed itself on the go board sitting between her and Kasumi. "We'll be improving them later, but they should do for now."

"Great!" exclaimed Ranma as Akane walked into the room. "Let's see them!"

"Where's Nabiki?" asked Kasumi. "We should wait until she's here too—I know she was interested."

Akane looked around behind her, and not seeing her sister, remarked, "Oh... she must not have kept up with us. She should be home soon."

"Aw, come on... it's not like they'll be any different if we see them first," argued Ranma. When Kasumi only smiled politely at him and turned her attention back to the game, he scowled and went into the kitchen to get a snack.

Akane walked over to the table and looked down at the game board. "I didn't know you played go, Kasumi."

"I've mostly just read up on it, but now that Velgri's here, I have someone to play with."

"But daddy plays. You could have played with him."

Kasumi smiled and gently shook her head. "It's something he plays with his friends. I wouldn't feel right intruding on that."

"But..." Akane sighed. "I guess I understand, Kasumi. But I would have been willing to learn so we could play together."

Kasumi smiled warmly at her younger sister. "That's sweet of you, Akane, but you were already so busy with school and martial arts. If you want to learn for your own sake, I'd love to play with you, but you shouldn't do it on my account. Besides, I have Velgri to play with now. Oh, here's Nabiki."

"It's about time!" exclaimed Ranma as he came out of the kitchen. "So, let's see them."

"Of course," replied Kasumi as she took a pink, flat metal case sporting a lavender bow on the front and gold filigree on the corners, from a pocket and placed it on the table.

"It's adorable!" enthused Akane. "It looks just like your outfit."

"Yeah... adorable was just what I was hoping for," replied Ranma with a distinct lack of enthusiasm.

"It matches your theme," said Nabiki as she reached over to open the case, "that's very important. Ooh, these are nice, especially on such short notice."

Inside the case was a stack of lavender cards with gold calligraphy:

_The Avatar  
of  
__Light_  
Protecting the world from the forces of darkness

The word '_Light_' started in a dull gold that steadily grew brighter as the word progressed, and the word 'darkness' was written in an especially dark shade of gold.

"Yes, they're beautiful," breathed Akane.

Ranma sighed deeply. "Can't I get a _different_ theme? Lavender, pink, and gold really isn't my thing..."

"In theory, yes," said Velgri. "The previous Avatar had a theme of dark blue, white, and silver. It is my belief that the uniform's look is determined by the inner desire of the current Avatar."

"Now, wait just a minute!"

"You know," mused Akane, "it could be based on expectations instead. If Ranma's idea of a magical girl is very feminine and … pink, that's the kind of uniform he gets."

Ranma nodded his head vigorously. "That makes _much_ more sense!"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," commented Nabiki as she studied a card closely. "Velgri, why don't these cards have any contact information? What's the point of cards that only give her title—especially if she's only going to be giving them to people who already know it."

Velgri nodded and replied, "A good question. Since the beings who receive the cards will generally not be using phones and can already determine her location, there isn't much reason to give such information. Instead, I have enchanted the cards to enable the bearer to magically communicate with the Avatar through the case that carries her cards."

"Handy," remarked Nabiki, giving the cards and case to Ranma. "Will the cards she receives from challengers do the same thing?"

"Usually, but it's unlikely to matter, as their owners will most likely be dead shortly after exchanging cards." The humans in the room soberly considered that statement until a knock on the newly replaced back door broke the silence.

oOo

With a solemn and determined expression on her face, the Avatar of Light walked through the back door and faced her challenger, who promptly demanded, "You got your shit together this time?" At the Avatar's nod, she smiled brightly and chirped, "Hi, Avatar of Light! I'm here to kill you!" before pulling a small silver case out of her breast pocket and extracting a burgundy metal card. Grasping the card by a corner and holding it parallel to the ground above the case, she looked at Ranma expectantly.

Ranma quickly pulled her own card holder from thin air, removed a card, and held it in a similar manner to her challenger. After a second, the two girls offered their cards with slight bows, each taking the other's card by a corner in her free hand before grasping it with both hands and holding it above her own case to study it.

Ranma examined the demon's card. It was made of metal that was a deep burgundy color laced with thin swirls of black. In cobalt blue it read:

**Lolidemonica**  
Agent of Evil  
Dirty deeds done dirt cheap  
_(Inquire for prices)_

After a few moments, each girl slipped the new card into her card holder, which she then put away. The formalities out of the way, the demon girl abruptly asked with a leer, "Are you ready to die now, Avatar?"

"After you," replied Ranma politely, gesturing toward the back yard.

"Thank y—hey!" With a scowl on her face, the girl stomped into the open yard, muttering about smartass bitches who thought they were so pretty, with their long hair, more mature looks, and large breasts (that would undoubtedly get wrinkled and saggy) getting theirs.

Ranma followed a few paces behind, and when her opponent turned to face her, glanced around to make sure the yard was clear. No fathers, check. No fiancees, ghouls, old perverts, or rivals, check. Velgri and the Tendou sisters, in the living room, watching intent—a sudden bright light dazzled Ranma and caused her to blink furiously for a moment. "Damnit, Nabiki!" she cried, "No flash photography!"

"If you're done fucking around—let's do this already!" shouted Lolidemonica and snapped her fingers on both hands. Or attempted to. Instead of producing a noise, her fingers just silently slid over each other. "Damn!" exclaimed the girl as she tried again, with the same results.

"Er..." said Ranma awkwardly as she watched.

"No, hang on. I've got this. Damn!"

After watching a few more tries with successively louder curses after each, Ranma offered, "Look, press your fingers together harder and move them faster, in a sharp motion. No, harder. Yeah, that's it!"

"Thanks!" cried Lolidemonica as she finally managed to snap her fingers, producing small sprays of sparks which immediately erupted into balls of flame resting in each of her palms. "Now die!" With that, she quickly moved her hands toward each other, causing the balls of flame to join into a softball-sized ball—which immediately expanded to a sphere a meter in diameter.

"Oh, shi—" shouted Ranma, diving to the side as the demon thrust her hands forward, causing the flames to blur forward in a fiery **beam** that shot across the yard, slamming into and **through** the wall surrounding the Tendou property.

"Burn! Burn! Yes! B-B-BURN!" laughed the demon in an ecstatic frenzy, sweat running down her face which was aglow from the reflected light of the flames as she maintained the deadly beam of fire.

Wide-eyed, Ranma walked up beside the demon girl, glanced briefly at the incandescent beam to confirm that, no, it hadn't changed course from its initial path, and thrust a hand toward her opponent while crying, "Light Lance!"

A golden-white beam of energy flew from Ranma's hand, striking and _piercing_ the demon, who shrieked in agony before the light consumed her, causing her own attack to abruptly wink out of existence. As Ranma watched, a faint, smoky image of Lolidemonica coalesced where the demon had been standing and glared at Ranma before being abruptly sucked into the ground.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Ranma looked around at her surroundings, wincing as she noticed the large hole with glowing red edges in the wall around the property. And the house next door. As a panicked voice in the distance called, "Bess! Are you all right? Where are you, girl?!" Ranma began to sweat nervously and rub the back of her neck. Fortunately, a bark in the distance answered the call and forestalled Ranma's impending panic attack.

"So," drawled Nabiki as she walked out of the house with the others, "what have we learned about helping the enemy?"

"Shut up, Nabiki. I'm not in the mood," growled Ranma before turning to Velgri and demanding, "What was that business with the ghostly image after I blasted her?"

"Ghostly image?" asked Akane. "I didn't see that."

As Akane's sisters indicated they hadn't seen the image either, Velgri replied, "That was the essence of your opponent being drawn to the nether realms to slowly re-form over the course of decades or centuries."

Confusion clear on her face, Ranma asked, "Huh? Her essence went to Holland?"

"I said the nether realms, not the Netherlands, you imbecile!"

With a nervous chuckle, Ranma said, "Ah... right. But I thought when I killed her, she was going to, you know, _die_."

Nodding slowly, Velgri replied, "I know. And I apologize for giving that impression, but I needed to be sure of your resolve."

Ranma glared at her advisor for a moment before sighing and saying, "I _suppose_ I can understand that... But I don't like it, understand?" At Velgri's nod, she asked, "So does that mean if I ... lose, I'll re-form and eventually come back?"

"No, you die."

"That doesn't sound very fair."

"Well, if you're certain you'd rather spend a century slowly regaining your power in the nether _realms_ instead of going to your rightful reward as a champion of the light fallen in battle, I'll see what I can do..."

"No, no, that's fine!" Ranma hastily assured her while waving her hands, only to stop with an 'oof' as Akane lunged forward and grabbed her in a bonecrushing hug.

"I'm glad you're all right. I was so worried," Akane quietly said before abruptly backing up and acting as if the hug had never occurred.

"Ah... thanks," said Ranma, blushing and looking anywhere but at Akane. Noticing the hole in the wall again, she rubbed the back of her neck and said, "I'm really sorry about the wall..."

"Don't worry about it," replied Nabiki airily with a wave of her hand, "I'll just slip it into the Neko Hanten's monthly bill. It's not like they'll notice an extra wall repair job in there."

"Let's go inside," said Kasumi, "and get you something cold to drink, Ranma." With an affectionate squeeze of the magical girl's shoulder, she added, "I'm very proud of you."

Unsuccessfully trying to fight down her blush, Ranma went inside with the others.

oOo

Nervously fingering the bow on her blouse, Akane approached the sole occupant of the living room. Taking a deep breath, she bowed her head and said, "Velgri, I'd like to apologize for my behavior this morning. What I asked was inappropriate and I hope you'll forgive me."

Velgri studied the girl for a moment before graciously saying, "Very well. I accept your apology."

Akane gave a small sigh of relief as she looked up. "Thank you. I'll be more, um, respectful in the future. It was just that I was upset about not being able to help with the Avatar of Light. Isn't there _anything_ I can do?"

Velgri cocked her head and looked thoughtful for several seconds before slowly saying, "Actually, I do believe there is something you could do to help..."

oOo

"It looks very nice," praised Kasumi as she stroked the lavender fox sitting on her shoulder.

"Oh, definitely," agreed Nabiki. "Maybe you should consider a career in this."

"Very funny," grumbled Akane. "Well? No comments from the Avatar of Light?"

Ranma studied the signs by the front gate. Next to the old one that read:

_To defeat_  
_owner in_  
_savage_  
_combat,_  
_use rear_  
_door._

was a new, smaller one that added next to 'savage' and 'combat,':

_or the Avatar of Light_  
_in mortal combat,_

He shrugged and said, "It looks fine. Straight, simple, and to the point."

"Hopefully, it'll stop the next challenger from coming to the kitchen door," added Nabiki before they walked around to the back of the property to look at the new bell and the sign indicating it should be rung to challenge the Avatar of Light.

"I thought this would make it easy to tell whether someone was here to challenge the dojo or the Avatar," explained Akane.

Ranma frowned and asked, "When's the last time anyone even used this door to challenge the dojo?"

"The dojo destroyer did," answered Akane.

"I don't remember that..."

"That's because you were on a date with Shampoo at the time," said Akane, her expression darkening.

Before Ranma could respond, Nabiki peered at the bell and commented, "It's a little crooked," ignoring Akane's muttered response of, "You would know..."

"Stop it," admonished Kasumi. "Akane, the bell and signs look very nice. I'm sure they'll be a great help."

"Yes, thank you, Akane," added Velgri.

Akane smiled slightly and said, "You're welcome," trying hard to concentrate on the happiness she felt at being of some help. She had to; it was the only thing keeping her from obsessively trying to figure out exactly how her dream of becoming a magical girl had gone so horribly wrong.

* * *

Author's note: Anyone who's a bit confused by the issue with the cards may want to look up _meishi_, Japanese business cards. They are an important aspect of business (and personal networking) in Japan, with very formal rules for their exchange, storage, and care.

There is no prize for figuring out the meaning of Lolidemonica's name.


	5. Etiquette, Politics, & Fans

**Etiquette, Politics, & Fans**

Akane's eyes flew open with a snap as a loud crash shook her room. Her eyes flicked over at the clock on her nightstand, and seeing 7:02 AM displayed, narrowed sharply. As a deep bellow further disrupted the peace of the morning, she got out of bed with a growl. She didn't know _what_ was making all the noise so early in the morning, but she was pretty sure _who_ was responsible. She headed to the living room, shambling at first, but slowly becoming more alive as her anger gradually woke her.

"Oh, good morning, Akane," greeted Kasumi from where she sat gazing out into the back yard. "You're up early."

"Yes. I am," she growled. "What's the inconsiderate jerk up to _this_ time?"

"Mister Saotome decided he wanted to test Ranma's fighting ability as the Avatar of Light."

"Oh?" she said, suddenly becoming less annoyed and more interested. "How's it been going?" At that moment, barely preceded by a girl's shout, a large black and white blur streaked across the yard, skipping off the ground once, and flew into the pond with a mighty splash. "Never mind," said Akane dryly, "I think I can tell."

Stepping out of the living room, Akane made her way to the dojo, keeping a careful eye out for 'light lances' or other special attacks. Walking into the dojo, she was greeted by a pleasant, "Back for more old—oh, hey, Akane. Did you pass the panda on your way in? Do I need to fish him out of the pond?"

"I saw him crawling out on his own. I think he's done for the morning, though." Akane studied the Avatar, noting that she didn't look the least bit tired and seemed completely unruffled, not a single strand of long lavender hair, pink ribbon, or piece of gold jewelry out of place. "So, what's it like fighting as the Avatar?"

"It's incredible," said Ranma with a smile, "I'm faster, stronger, and more durable.

"It sounds amazing," replied Akane, smiling back at the thought of it. "Um... do you think maybe we could spar a little?"

Ranma suddenly looked uncomfortable. "Akane, if the old man didn't stand a chance—"

"Oh, I don't mean anything serious! I just want the experience of going up against a real magical girl and seeing her in action."

Ranma gave her a long look, studying her intently, before simply replying, "You're not ready."

"Really!" snapped Akane, her voice rising, "And when _will_ I be ready to face the mighty Avatar of Light in light sparring? After a year of intense training?! Two?! Maybe after a worldwide training trip?! Please, Ranma, do tell me _exactly_ what it'll take for me to finally be _ready_!"

"Actually, I meant that you're wearing pajamas with little ducks on them..."

Blushing furiously, Akane walked to a changing room and returned a minute later dressed in a white gi. "Ok, let's do this!" exclaimed Akane eagerly. "Don't—er, _do_ go easy on me."

"All right. Try to hit me."

Akane nodded and threw a punch—or tried to. Before she'd done more than barely start the attack, her fist ran into Ranma's open palm. Eyes widening, she threw a punch with the other hand, getting the same result. An attempt at a kick was gently stopped with the sole of Ranma's boot when Akane's foot was barely off the ground. Frowning, Akane initiated a flurry of kicks and punches, each one being stopped as soon as it started, until after stopping an attempt at a punch-kick combo, Ranma gave her a firm push on her breastbone, sending her stumbling back.

"Wow..." breathed Akane. "That's amazing." She'd always been deeply impressed by Ranma's ability to dodge so effortlessly, but being able to sense what attack she was about to make—and stop it faster than she could launch it—that was uncanny. _That_ was what being a magical girl was all about!

"Well, actually I could have done that without being the Avatar. But not if I was up against someone good."

"Let's try something else," growled Akane.

"Oh, sure. Try to hit me, as hard as you can."

"Gladly!" cried Akane, charging forward with her fist cocked. With a shout, she let it fly at Ranma's face and the bored expression on it—and gasped as it hit. "Ranma!" she cried as the other girl's head snapped back, "I'm so sorr..." she trailed off as Ranma moved her head back, looking no worse for the wear.

"Stung a bit," said Ranma absently. "So," she asked the stunned girl, "want to see what I can _do_?"

Akane nodded dazedly, then gave a shriek as Ranma lunged forward, grabbed the fabric of her gi, and swung around, _hurling_ her out of the dojo at incredible speed. As the yard passed by in a blur, she noticed Ranma gather herself and streak forward after her. Akane lost sight of her an instant later but then felt slender arms around her as the path of her flight was redirected into a series of controlled jumps that allowed Ranma to gradually bleed off momentum and bring them to a safe stop.

Once Ranma put her down, she took a moment to catch her breath and steady her legs before turning to the other girl and shouting, "Ranma! That was—_awesome_!"

Ranma, who had started to cringe at the beginning of Akane's shout, straightened up. "Yeah?"

"Of course! I've just been tossed around by a _real _magical girl! I can't wait to tell … but I can't tell anyone, can I." Akane gasped. "I _can_! You don't _have_ a secret identity!"

"Wait a second, Akane," Ranma quickly said, " the guys who want to kill me may know where I am, but I really don't want _this_," she said, gesturing at her hair and outfit, "to get out."

"But..." Akane sighed. "Fine. I guess I can understand. I'll keep it to myself."

"Hey, at least this way you get to be the only one getting magical girl rides." Oblivious to Akane's stare, she added, "C'mon, let's see how long it is until breakfast is ready.

oOo

"Ranma!" Soun called from across the yard, "A word, if you would."

Ranma, now fed, bathed, and male, walked over to where the man stood near the freshly repaired expanse of wall at the edge of the property. "What's up?"

"I've been giving a lot of thought to this Avatar of Light business, son, and while I'd rather it not be you who fills the role, I understand that it's something you need to do and offer you my full support. However, I believe your first battle has shown that it is simply too dangerous for you to face your challengers here. Why, that shot could have gone through the house just as easily as this wall. So. While I have no objection to you meeting your challengers here, I must ask that you actually fight them elsewhere."

"No problem. I was already planning to do that."

"Good lad," said Soun, clapping him on the shoulder.

"I'll go looking for good places and with Velgri once she gets back."

"Oh? Where is she?"

"She went out shopping with Kasumi," replied Ranma.

"The two of them certainly have taken a liking to each other," remarked Soun.

"Yeah," said Ranma with a weak smile. "It's really something, isn't it."

oOo

"It's about time you got back," chided Nabiki that afternoon, grabbing Ranma's arm as soon as she walked into the house. "Don't you know my time is very valuable?"

"Trust me, I know..." groused Ranma with a scowl as she disengaged her arm. "But other than that, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Why, your first lesson on how to behave in a formal setting, of course."

"Aw, come on... do we really have to go through with that?"

"Not if you don't want to," replied Nabiki. As Ranma started to smile, she added, "You'll just have to tell Kasumi and Velgri that you're not going to do it after all."

Ranma sighed. "Ok fine... Where are we gonna do this?"

"My room, there won't be as many interruptions there. But first, lesson one—you need to use proper grammar. 'Gonna' isn't going to cut it in a formal setting."

"What difference does it make? We both knew exactly what I meant."

Nabiki frowned. "Let's go to my room first. I can see we have a lot to talk about." Once they were in her room and the door closed behind them, she took a moment to collect her thoughts before starting to pace and saying, "Listen to me, Saotome, the first thing you need to understand is that knowing how to behave properly is _important_, especially in your new role. I understand that you're used to living in the wilds and engaging in indiscriminate brawling, but now you're the Avatar of Light, a position that's entirely dependent on formal agreements."

"Yeah, I get that, but that just says we have to stick to actual challenges. It doesn't mean I have to act all fancy."

"Yes and no. Since your fights _are_ formal challenges, you can expand on the formality, and for example, name a specific time and place to fight when you accept."

"That's a good idea," admitted Ranma, "but I still don't see what it has to do with acting fancy."

"That's because it was just a simple and unsophisticated example!" exclaimed Nabiki, smacking a fist into her palm. "You can get people to do so much more—but only if you follow certain social rules!"

"Like what?" asked Ranma, starting to look interested.

"Tell me, Ranma, when LoliDemonica insisted you exchange cards with her, why didn't you just tell her to shut up and fight?"

"What? I couldn't do that! It'd be... ohhh. Ok, that's ... interesting," admitted Ranma.

Nabiki nodded. "Interesting and useful. But it only works if _you_ follow the rules. If she'd come up, waved her card at you, and said, 'Yo! Show me yours!' would you have cared so much about not having one?" When Ranma shook her head, Nabiki nodded and said, "And that's still just a basic example. The more you can draw someone into formality, the more you can get them to do—but that requires you to follow more rules and know how to act in a given situation."

"And that involves things like fancy dinners?" asked Ranma with genuine curiosity.

"It can. If you need to talk to me about something and I insist we do it over dinner at a fancy restaurant, that dictates your behavior to an extent. I'm doing you the courtesy of hearing you out, so you're obligated to act appropriately for the setting I specified, especially if, say, I insist on paying. Get that look off your face, Saotome—I'd be willing to treat someone to dinner if there was something more valuable to be gained."

"Really? It looks more to me like you always go for the quick buck."

"That's because I do. We're talking high school kids here—what's to be gained beyond a bit of cash or free food and entertainment? Could I get more out of them? Sure, but we're still talking pocket change, and I have better things to do with my time and effort. But rest assured, once I'm out there with the big boys, I'll be ready and willing to play for real. Now, let's get started on your lesson."

oOo

"I'm home!" Nabiki called as she walked into the house and slipped off her shoes. Seeing no one around, she continued on into the kitchen, where she found Kasumi and Velgri studying a sheet of paper.

"Hello, Nabiki," Kasumi said with a smile, "how was your day?"

"The usual," replied Nabiki with a shrug as she grabbed a bag of rice crackers from the pantry. "What are you guys up to?"

"We're putting together a menu for a French dinner for Saturday night," said Kasumi before suddenly looking thoughtful. "Nabiki, you've given Ranma an etiquette lesson already, haven't you? Do you think we should make it a formal dinner?"

Nabiki shook her head. "It'd be better to wait a week or so. I want to take Ranma to an upscale restaurant to get some experience first."

"Oh my, don't you think it'd be better for her to practice at home first, in case she makes mistakes?"

"If it were any other home, I'd say yes, but considering who she'd be sharing a table with, I think it'll be better if her first formal dinner is somewhere we'll be able to reasonably assume everyone else is going to behave properly, more or less."

"You have a definite point there," remarked Velgri as she levitated a pen and made a mark on the sheet of paper. "And how is the Avatar progressing?"

"Well, I've gotten her to decide it's something that might be worth knowing, which for Ranma, is half the battle right there. How's the rest of the Avatar stuff going?"

"Only time will tell. I have given her a basic knowledge of the nature of the Avatar and her powers; now she must internalize those teachings and gain an intuitive understanding of her powers and how to access them. Only then will I be able to teach her more."

Nabiki considered the fox's words as she ate a rice cracker. "And Ranma _knows_ this, right?"

"I assure you, I was quite clear when I explained—" Velgri paused for a long moment. "On second thought, perhaps I should go over the matter with her again..."

oOo

"I'm home!" called Nabiki as she came inside, slipped off her shoes, and continued on to the living room, where she found Ranma lying with a school book and a bowl of rice crackers in front of him. "No magical girl drama today?" asked Nabiki as she walked over and took possession of the bowl before sitting down at the table and picking up a magazine lying there.

"Not since the other day," replied Ranma with a scowl, "when Velgri suddenly decided I needed to repeat the entirety of An Introduction to the Avatar of Light. Thank you _so_ much for that, by the way."

"All I did was ask how you were doing," said Nabiki as she leafed through her magazine. "It's not my fault you have a proven history of forgetting her lessons."

"She told me she was going to show me how to use magical powers and then started a history lesson! Excuse me for being a little distracted! I wasn't about to zone out during the part about the actual powers."

"Like I said, I just asked how you were doing. Oh, that reminds me, you and I will be going out to dinner at a nice restaurant Tuesday night to get you some practical experience."

"I'm not eating snails," declared Ranma firmly.

"Then don't order any. We're not going to a French restaurant, anyway. Kasumi's making French food for dinner this Saturday, but it won't be formal." With a smirk, Nabiki added, "I can't promise there won't be any snails _there_."

"I think I'll be able to handle it," Ranma assured her, then looked up with a frown as there was a knock at the back door.

"I'll get it," said Nabiki, standing up with the bowl, "and I'll get us some more crackers."

"Grab me a soda, too."

Nabiki walked through the kitchen, leaving the bowl on a counter, and opened the back door. With raised eyebrows, she regarded the girl standing outside before asking, "Can I help you?"

"Yes, please. I'm here to challenge the Avatar of Light."

"You know, the sign directed challengers to the back of the property, not the kitchen door."

"Uh... I'm sorry, but, well I'm here already and you'renotgoingtomakemegoallthewayaroundareyou?" the girl rushed out while nervously pushing her index fingers against each other.

"Fine, you can stay here," sighed Nabiki. "Now, whom shall I say is calling?"

"Y-you mean you don't recognize me," asked the girl, her blue eyes starting to fill with tears. "I'm Sailor Moon!"

Nabiki studied the girl in front of her. Big blue eyes and long blonde hair in stupid hairdo—check. Tiara, brooch, earrings, and weird red things on her hairballs—check. Red, white, and blue fuku with bow, gloves, and boots—check, check, and check. Nabiki folded her arms and stated in a matter-of-fact tone, "You're not Sailor Moon."

"What are you talking about?! Of course I'm Sailor Moon!" exclaimed the girl, holding her hands out to the side and twirling around to prove her authenticity from all angles.

"First," said Nabiki, holding up a hand to deflect a passing ponytail, "Sailor Moon is a good guy who wouldn't be challenging the Avatar of Light."

"Ha!" cried Sailor Moon as she turned back to face Nabiki, stumbling a little at the end of her twirl, "All the result of my _excellent_ publicist! You'd be amazed at the image you can project with a good one."

"Trust me, I wouldn't," drawled Nabiki. "But second and much more importantly, you aren't Sailor Moon because Sailor Moon is fictional."

"Ha again! Another cunning move by my publicist to make sure I don't—"

"Look," said Nabiki flatly, "if you're not going to take this seriously, you can just come back and challenge the Avatar later."

As Nabiki started to close the door, Sailor Moon quickly exclaimed, "Ok! I'm not Sailor Moon! But I _am_ a really huge fan and thought it would be awesome to challenge the Avatar as her!"

"You do look just like her," Nabiki agreed as she opened the door again.

"That's nothing! Watch this!" called not-Sailor Moon as she jumped back, and with a shimmer, shifted into Sailor Moon's alter ego of Tsukino Usagi. Holding her brooch, she cried, "Moon prism power—make up!" And with a swirl of music, light, and ribbons exactly like those in the anime, she transformed into Sailor Moon.

"And that's not all!" exclaimed Sailor Moon as she moved out of her resultant pose and shifted into Mizuno Ami with another shimmer.

"Wait! I'll be right back!" cried Nabiki as she rushed into the house.

Ranma looked up as Nabiki ran into the living room. "Hey, what's—" As Nabiki ran straight through without stopping, he frowned and sat up. When she ran back through in the other direction carrying a camcorder, he scowled and stood. "Right..." he sighed, "Alquia." In an instant, a burst of elfin magic flared around him, causing water from the air to condense on his exposed skin, triggering his curse. "I'm a guy," now-female Ranma said resignedly, invoking the much more spectacular Avatar transformation.

Walking out the back door, she stopped and scratched her head at the sight of Nabiki filming a real, live Hino Rei transforming into Sailor Mars. "Hey!" she called, "Are you here to challenge me or what?"

"Yeah!" called Sailor Mars.

"When?"

"Any time," replied Kino Makoto. "Jupiter power—make up!"

"Cool," said Ranma, nodding her head for a second before thrusting out a hand and crying, "Light lance!" Caught in the middle of her transformation's twirl, Kino Jupiter didn't even have a chance to scream when the brilliant bolt of energy hit her squarely between the eyes.

"What the hell, Saotome?!" shouted Nabiki. "I didn't even get footage of Sailor Moon or the outers!"

Ranma shrugged as she turned back toward the house. "It always bugged me that no one ever took a shot at them while they were transforming."

"You might want to watch what karma you pick up there, _Little __Miss Magical Girl_," growled Nabiki as she turned off her camcorder.

"Yeah, yeah..." replied Ranma over her shoulder as she looked around for a moment with a frown on her face before simply bellowing, "Velgri!"

Mere seconds later, the fox in question walked out of the house. "There's no need to shout, young lady. I sensed your magic flare and was already on my way. Now, what is so important?"

"Is this whole Avatar thing a _joke_?!" demanded Ranma. "The first challenger got off a single attack—with my help—before I one-shotted her, and this last one didn't even manage that! I went along with this magical girl gig because you made it sound like I'd be the only thing standing between the world and an invasion of vicious demons—but this, this is just pathetic! If this is what the other side is like, you can find someone else for the job—I've got better things to do!"

Velgri's ears flattened against her head and her eyes began to glow a brilliant gold as a rumbling growl, deeper and louder than anything a fox her size should have been able to produce, filled the yard. Just as Ranma was nervously beginning to think another approach may have been better, the fox closed her eyes for a long moment and took a deep breath, visibly reining in her temper. "I … suppose I can understand your feelings, even if your manner of expressing them was deplorable. Sit, and I will explain."

Once Ranma and Nabiki had walked to the porch and sat down, Velgri continued. "It is, in fact, true that the opponents you faced so far have been, to put it plainly, incompetent. The reason for this can be explained in a single word: politics. You see, while in the greater scheme of things, the forces of darkness desire to destroy the Avatar of Light so they can run free on Earth, most of the time, the specific challengers are selected by entities that are fairly powerful in the dark hierarchy but still far from the top. These entities, especially at the start of a new Avatar's service, are prone to selecting challengers that further their own aims, rather than the candidates likeliest to succeed."

"How does sending incompetent demons help them?" asked Ranma dubiously.

"Most often, there are two reasons. First, there is the consequence of a challenger who is already powerful defeating the Avatar. The prestige in such a feat is enormous and would cause the political power of the one who accomplished it to skyrocket. If a relatively minor entity managed to do so, the effect on the one who selected her would be minimal beyond a rise in stature for choosing the one who succeeded in defeating the Avatar. If the challenger already had status, however..."

"She'd shoot right past the one who sent her!" exclaimed Nabiki.

"Exactly, and considering the way superiors treat their underlings in the dark hierarchy, a reversal of roles is typically _very_ unpleasant for the former superior."

Ranma frowned in thought before nodding. "And the other reason?"

"It is often the case that an entity will have in her service a number of beings they neither selected nor desire but cannot remove because of their connections—for example, a favored relative of a powerful lord. Many times, these connected individuals will either be incompetent or placed with the specific aim of sabotaging or overthrowing their superior at a later point. But while the superior is unable to dismiss the troublesome underling or arrange a convenient accident without an unacceptable level of risk, publicly honoring the connected individual is another matter entirely. And being selected to challenge the Avatar of Light is considered to be a great honor indeed..."

"Devious," commented Nabiki approvingly.

"So I'm stuck facing demons who are annoying or incompetent?" asked Ranma. "Great..."

Velgri shook her head. "Only for a short time. While the first few challengers are expected to be probes rather than serious attempts to defeat the Avatar, the dark lords will make their displeasure known if too long passes without a serious challenger being sent."

"See, Ranma, there's nothing to worry about. You'll be desperately fighting for your life in no time!" Nabiki said cheerfully.

"Great!" said Ranma, brightening for a moment before stopping to reconsider the matter. "Actually, let's not get carried away now..."

"Yes, yes," said Velgri dismissively. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to sit here and commune with nature to wash away the unpleasant experience of being addressed in such a vulgar and disrespectful manner."

"Er, yeah... Uh, sorry about that..." mumbled Ranma as she rubbed the back of her neck.

"Just go inside, Ranma," sighed Velgri, "I believe someone else wishes to talk with you."

"Um, ok," said Ranma, standing up and reverting to her normal female form before walking inside with Nabiki close behind.

In the kitchen, Kasumi smiled at Ranma and said, "Go ahead to the living room. I already have a kettle warming."

Ranma smiled back and said, "Thanks, Kasumi," before walking on into the living room, where her smile instantly fled as she saw who was sitting at the table.

"Tell me, Ranma," said Soun in a voice devoid of emotion before taking a puff of the lit cigarette in his hand, "was I unclear in my request to you the other morning?"

"Er, no..." squeaked Ranma nervously as she was unwillingly pushed closer to the angry man by Nabiki walking into the room behind her.

"Then, perhaps you could explain," roared Soun as he leaned forward, his head somehow seeming to grow huge and menacing as he blew jets of smoke from his nose like a furious dragon, "why no more than a few minutes ago, I watched from my window as you fought a challenger _on the_ _very doorstep_ _of my family home_!"

"I'm Sorry!" cried Ranma as she recoiled in fear, "I got distracted and forgot! It won't happen again! B-besides, there wasn't any danger; she was a real pushover."

As Soun's head reverted to normal, he pounded his fist on the table and exclaimed, "You must lose this overconfidence, Ranma! Yes, your opponent was defeated before she could launch a single attack, but what if she had survived your initial shot? Did you even consider what the mighty power of the _sparkling wide pressure_ could do to the home that has been in my family for generations?! Or what if she had launched a fiery _burning mandala_ at this noble structure of wood?! Even Sailor Mercury's graceful and beautiful _shine aqua illusion _would have done untold damage to this house and its contents! And I shudder to imagine the consequences if Sailor Moon had wielded the _cutie moon rod_ or dared to unleash the very power of the mighty and terrible _Ginzuishou_ itself! Do you understand, Ranma?"

"I understand that you're entirely too knowledgeable of Sailor Moon attacks for a man your age," Ranma replied slowly.

As Soun's face turned pink, Kasumi walked in with the kettle and cheerfully said, "Oh, it was father's favorite show and he never missed an episode! He made sure to be in front of the TV five minutes early with a big bowl of popcorn and a cold bottle of soda on the most adorable Sailor Moon tray."

Attempting a jovial laugh that came out with a slightly hysterical edge, Soun, now bright red and profusely sweating, replied, "Oh, Kasumi, you know that was just so I could bond with my dear, sweet Akane over magical girls."

Kasumi tilted her head to the side in confusion. "But Akane always watched it at her friend's house."

Soun quickly pulled several bills from his pocket, and thrusting them toward his eldest daughter, suggested, "Why don't you take Velgri to the movies, Kasumi."

"All right," said Kasumi brightly as she took the money, tossed the kettle in Ranma's direction, and virtually skipped back into the kitchen.

"You do realize, daddy," warned Nabiki, "that Kasumi hadn't started dinner yet?"

"Keep it down," hissed Ranma urgently as she poured the hot water over herself.

At that moment, Akane walked into the room, eyes shining, and asked, "Did I hear Nabiki say Kasumi wasn't making dinner? Don't worry! I'll make a meal you won't forget!"

"Not till our dying day..." muttered Ranma.

"What was that?!" growled Akane.

"Nonsense!" cried Soun expansively before Ranma could respond. "We're going out for dinner to celebrate the Avatar of Light's recent victory over the forces of darkness!"

Bowing her head, Nabiki humbly said, "Thank you for saving us from a fate worse than death."

Ranma blushed and shifted from foot to foot in embarrassment. "I was just doing my duty..."

"I was talking to daddy," whispered Nabiki.

* * *

Author's note (09/07/13): A few people have left reviews containing suggestions or questions that made me want to rush to respond. But, of course, every one of them was from an anonymous reviewer, making it impossible. So, if anyone feels the urge to leave a review that contains questions, suggestions, or any sort of in-depth analysis, please do so while logged in so I can actually reply to what you say.


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